This house believes

We shouldn’t ban violent music because its not meant to be violent to people. Its a way to express your feelings. The only reason people want to ban this type of music is because they don’t like it or agree with people emotions. Another reason why we shouldn’t ban this is because everyone has someone that tells them whats right and whats wrong for instance your parents if they were good parents they wouldn’t let you use this language outside thats why discipline is the key to success. Also what about the likes of Drake one of the best rappers in the world stopped rapping and stopped earning money for what he was good at. Thirdly how do you know that he could have left school early to do rapping and buying a house worth 7.7 million dollars.Lastly there is only 2 ways to this your not mature enough to listen songs that have violent language in it or there parents can just stop them from watching it

If you do not give a proper amount of space to develop each of your arguments they will fall flat. Essentially you have written the first sentence of four different paragraphs in one paragraph. Instead, each one should form the opening sentence of a new paragraph.

Look at any example of writing by professionals to see how this is done. – RP